Ebb the Tears

Why in the hell am I crying? And why can't I stop??? I guess I'm long overdue for a good cry...I'm happy to be back, but here I am...alone...while Bekah decorates for Christmas at Josh's, and Renee' shops for presents, and Amanda does Amanda stuff, and Robert...sleeps...and doesn't call me...so I think he's dead... at least I was able to talk to his mom, so Robert's not dead, but still...I guess I just don't want to be alone right now... or maybe I just don't want to be without. So at least this little bit of blogging has helped me to calm down, breathe evenly, and somewhat stop this pointless, stupid, ridiculous crying...I'm being such a girl right now, and I hate it...