Merry Christmas what?

Yeah, Merry Christmas...I wish I really meant it.

Things have just been really stupid this week. I mean, some cool stuff has happened; got a bunch of great new clothes shopping with my grandma, got a new haircut, saw a bunch of old friends, etc. But then there's this dark feeling deep inside me...cause of the arguements with my dad. And my boyfriend being stupid and getting drunk and not calling. Stuff like that. And it makes me physically sick, and I've been having really terrible nightmares...stuff that's really not like me. I need to snap out of this fast...before whatever this is really gets me.