Ebb the Tears

Why in the hell am I crying? And why can't I stop??? I guess I'm long overdue for a good cry...I'm happy to be back, but here I am...alone...while Bekah decorates for Christmas at Josh's, and Renee' shops for presents, and Amanda does Amanda stuff, and Robert...sleeps...and doesn't call me...so I think he's dead... at least I was able to talk to his mom, so Robert's not dead, but still...I guess I just don't want to be alone right now... or maybe I just don't want to be without. So at least this little bit of blogging has helped me to calm down, breathe evenly, and somewhat stop this pointless, stupid, ridiculous crying...I'm being such a girl right now, and I hate it...

TITLE LINE!!!

I figured out how to do a TITLE LINE!!! Bwahahaha, I'm the Queen of the World!!!

Frickin' Freezin'

It is absolutely freezing outside today, not exactly typical Baton Rouge weather...then by the weekend, it's supposed to be back in the 70's. The 70's!!! And it's Thanksgiving!!! I mean, I'm not a lover of freezing cold, but a little bit of a chill is just a holiday necessity...unless you live in Hawaii or something, cause it's okay if it's hot as long as you can spend Christmas at the beach.

Worrying is like a rocking chair...

I wish I could stop worrying, but I can't...I'm really happy and all, but I just get this feeling in the pit of my stomach sometimes...and I don't know what to do about it. What do you do when you're worried about someone but they won't talk to you about it, and you want to give them their space but the worry is just eating you up inside...I guess I just gotta keep praying about it, and just give it all to God...He knows what to do with it so much more than I would...

Is my undawears showin? *Sooo good!*

Some girls would be insecure with their boyfriend giving their best friend underwear for her birthday...but not me. Cause Renee' is my love, and I'm letting Robert be her step-boyfriend. Plus, I gave her underwear too...and Robert got me a pair too as a surprise, LOL...so we're just a bunch of underwear-givin fools. I guess now I know what to get Robert for Christmas... =)

Absolutely Fabulous

This has been one of the greatest weekends ever! Friday night my boyfriend Robert took me out on our first "real date", dinner and a movie, since Saturday would be a month of being together, and it was all wonderfully romantic...*sigh* Then saturday was Renee's birthday and the LSU vs. Ole Miss game. Yeah, LSU kicked some total tail, we dominated that field! We watched the game in the coffee shop, then threw Renee' a little mini-birthday party. Then Rebekah and I put Renee' in the car and blindfolded her. We took her and made her sneak into Tiger Stadium blindfolded (under gates, over fences, the whole shebang) then put her on the 50 yard line, where we removed the blindfold and sang her Happy Birthday. Then we met Robert, Craig, Steve and Nick at the movies and saw "The Cat in the Hat", which was really cute. Overall, the weekend was awesome, even though all I did today was go to church and do homework. I can't wait for Thanksgiving break to see my family...two days to go!!! =)

Pics...really

So I got some new pics...well, kinda new...so I posted 'em. Click here

Gifts that keep on givin

We're having an office Christmas party and someone came up with the great idea of exchanging gifts. Whoever that was also set the max amount of money you can spend at $20. That's a buttload of money for a college student!!! So then they figured we would make a list of a few examples of what we want for Christmas...and almost everyone is putting down gift certificates. I don't understand gift certificates. If I'm just gonna use it to buy what I want anyway, why don't I just save you the trouble. You keep your money and I'll keep mine, then I'll go buy something I really want and say, "hey, look what ______ gave me for Christmas!" Now that's fun.

Tours

So today I'm giving a campus tour (it's my job) and some of my friends decide that they want to be involved. So as I'm standing in front of the TigerCard office, they come up and sandwich me in a hug, then proceed to give the tour examples of a "good tigercard" and a "bad tigercard" (one that was broken and taped together). This is not the most interesting thing that's happened on a tour, though; my favorite instances of strangeness were the random guy following the tour across campus on a tricycle, and Adrian asking me for my autograph...and of course, those of my friends that feel it necessary to act like I'm N'Sync or something and scream like little girls when I come into the Union. Oh, the joys of tours...at least I got to eat Subway today...yummm

There's that positive poetry I've been promising...I knew it was in there somewhere.

Alive

I never knew how dead I was
Until I learned to truly live
I never wanted more from life
Until I saw what it could give

Love and joy do exist
So does the greatest happiness
First with God, and now with this
I found it there within a kiss

I've never felt so much alive
As when I look into those eyes
And though my feet stay on the ground
My heart feels as if it could fly.

Do not try this at home...

Note to self: As demonstrated by Robert and James tonight, attempting to drink a gallon of milk in an hour can have immediate adverse effects on the functions of the digestive system. This task should not be attempted, and those attempting this feat should be avoided due to risk of vomit.

ouch

Sometimes, for no reason, my heart just aches...i don't mean like when you have heartburn or when you've run 5 miles or something, i mean just an aching, a longing, a hurting, and it's unexplainable...i'm happy, really, i'm happier now than i've been in so long...but i think the ache has something to do with that. i'm so happy that now i'm afraid that one day i'll lose that, and i don't know what i would do if that happened...so sometimes, when i'm alone, i hurt. but the hurting has made me appreciate my happiness even more.

So yeah...check out that quiz...it's quizzeriffic

Aphrodite/Eros


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

To my friend...

Screamer

I heard you scream without a sound
I watched you burn your bridges down
Calmly still I held your hand
Wishing I could understand
The horrors breathing in your head
The hopelessness, the things unsaid
Here I wait so patiently
Wanting just to set you free
I close my eyes, inside I weep
Please, don't die, just go to sleep.

Heart Palpitations

Have you ever felt your heart stop beating? I have. And I don't mean the way that it does when you sneeze or when someone startles you. I mean when something scares you so badly that your heart seems to stop and weigh heavy in your chest. Or when you're so happy that your heart seems to abandon its usual occupation of pumping blood and instead leap out and dance around. Those are the emotions that make you feel alive. You have to laugh a little, cry a little, bleed a little...it reminds you of the sanctity of life and the pleasure of having it. I don't mean literal bleeding, but the emotional kind - the outpouring of emotions like a deluge, a current so strong it makes you wonder how you ever held it back before. That is what it is to truly live.